The Remaining Ingredient

I sought to follow a recipe

to make what would bring joy to me.

At first I added too much sweetener,

next effort, too many wanted a taste too,

tried expensive store bought, pre-made,

too cookie cutter, too big a name.

Lastly, I sought to find a recipe,

and bake what would be right for me,

the perfect flavor of smart and sweet,

attractive to him and he’s attractive to me.

Although it is too soon to call

I pray that events will be evident to all,

and fill my need for sustenance,

a working relationship for both of us.

 

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And Then…

 

What’s up with me?
Well, I’ll tell you now.
Been here before,
so it’s nothing new.

Have been drinking toxic water
from a crystal pool,
thought all was well
until the froth and drool.

Was with a man who
did much good for me,
but was not “the one”
didn’t curl my feet.

And when it came time to
communicate,
his words always felt
more like anger and hate.

Nothing existed in his
understanding of me,
took all I said
way too critically.

Yet when he spoke,
was so demanding,
the end result was
always less of me.

I’ll look for pastures now,
where there’s greener trees somehow,
more vibrant colours,
and more honey bees.

when I do find it,
(and I’m sure I will),
I plan to matriculate,
take time to articulate them.

Study just what makes them be,
also, how they jibe with me.
If right, I will hold tight as well,
but only, it won’t be a jail.

I won’t hate on them,
I won’t berate them,
although I will appreciate them,
I will also let fine wine breathe.

Trust will be given well before
it can be earned, for,
this is the only way
that it can ever be learned.

I’ve made some mistakes before,
but I don’t regret them,
if life’s a risky game…
I’ll put my bets in.

The World We Inhabit

The world that we live in

is fading fast,

fortold long ago

as to its path.

What ought we to do

if we don’t play along?

Do we have the option

to keep to our own?

Confused and perplexed

as to what to do…

can’t even agree

which human to turn to.

The only real choices

are both pretty sad,

Not too hard to determine

that things will get bad.

It’s Very Late

 

It’s very late
to turn back now,
I’m not sure that
I’d even know how.
Or that an act
of wisdom ‘twould be,
to show, again,
my love for thee.
What would it solve,
what could it do,
except shore up
the ego in you.
That’s not a task
I wish to tend,
So we shall remain
forever as friends.

What Is It?

 

What is it about me
that says: “I don’t mind…
if you stand on me
to reach the line,
if you burden me
to your heart’s delight,
if you use my bones,
your gears to grind.
If your jokes and pranks
you desire to try,
just release them on me,
for I do not cry.
I have no human feelings,
I am not like you,
For I am not thin, nor perfect,
so, of course, it’s okay for you to do.
And, who knows?
Perhaps your little charade
will motivate me to make a change?
If I really try, perhaps someday…
I too can make a thoughtless
shallow play?
Or maybe,
if I stand real still,
you may forget I’m here,
or that you ever cared?”
Don’t try to act
like you still could,
that’s just as absurd
as thinking your love
was once pure.
How obscure.

It Is What It Is

I guess, I now know                                      what it is that you meant,
that one time, long ago,
when those words
you had said.
You said them to me
when I asked how you be,
now I get it so well,
as I live in MY hell.
Nothing is horrible,
but nothing is great,
with everything lukewarm,
I barf in my plate!
Consequence surrounds me,
I’ve filled my own bed,
the pain now is throbbing
inside of my head.
Cherished, but berated,
I’m loved, but I’m hated,
I seem to have mated
with yet another child, infatuated.

Let Not

 

Let not, the hot
temper that you’ve got,
compound around
my patience deficit.
We’re friends, of the kindred kind,
I only wish, your joy to mind.
Quarrels exist not, in me to bind.
State your case, keep your pace,
worry not over my face…for
loyalty e’er in me, shall you find,
and should empty, your quiver you detect, my Dova,
know that you will have
my respect and Lova.