Efforts To Improve Myself

It kills me inside when I hurt those I love and respect,
that is not my goal, and I sure don’t mean it.
I disappoint my mentors whom I highly admire,
long to imitate, and their skills to acquire.
I try my best each day to succeed, and there are
signs of progress in me, a change of heart even.
But let one little thing go wrong, and it seems in your book, to put me right back to start.
Somehow I come up just short of their praise, but I am making great strides
with each passing day.
I am doing quite well in my progress overall, I could just stay down,
but get up when I fall. A lessor person would just stay on the ground,
but I am determined to accomplish all that I have laid down.
I WILL make you respect me, and I WILL make you proud,
I WILL win these battles and sure up my army, to fight for your good name
and for mine as well.
I WILL NOT go down without reclaiming your honor.
I ask instead of forgiveness, for your patience just a moment longer,
I am in the process of breaking free from this cycle!
Soon will I have a freedom I have not had in a while.
To show you all what I truly can do! In this direction, I do now move.
I AM making progress, I AM taking steps, I AM bettering myself
and you will soon see the results.
I have lost 76 pounds and am still losing weight,
I have begun to write my first novel, so far it is great,
I am accumulating poems for my poetry book,
I am arranging for the doctor’s appointments needed prior to my surgery,
I am studying French and will study other languages as well.
All this in an effort to improve myself.
If there is more I should do, then please let me know,
I remain as I always was, you humble servant below.


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